DIEting

I'm trying to be more mindful of what I am eating and how much I'm eating of it. It is so hard. Will I ever get used to eating healthy? I feel like life is either about eating or daydreaming about eating. I'm using Weight Watchers right now, which does encourage me to learn how to eat what I enjoy in sensible portions and maybe learn to say goodbye to things that aren't doing me any good. And I want junk food so bad! I want ice cream, french fries, potato chips, cookies. Anything born out of grease, butter and a deep fryer. Hopefully I can keep at it and make it stick forever. I'm trying to undo almost 26 years worth or bad eating habits. So maybe when I am 52, it will come naturally. :/

The Car Crash Heard Round the World

Typically when a driver has an accident with a fixed object, say a fire hydrant, it's a pretty embarrassing event. The event is even more embarrassing when that hydrant happens to gush a gaggle of paramours like sewer water onto your car. This is the nightmare that began for Tiger Woods at the end of last month.

When the story first broke that Tiger Woods was in a crash I was disinterested. I read the headlines but that was the extent of my knowledge of incident. When it came out that the wreck might of been because he was fighting with his wife for his (ahem) "transgressions" I was still incurious.

Should we really ever be surprised when a celebrity cheats on his wife? As you may have read in my post How To Be Thankful, I don't think people with that much money have a real necessity for things like morals and genuine happiness. Tiger Woods has billions of dollars, he has plenty of money to have instant gratification every second of his life. I would be more unconvinced at the idea that he didn't cheat on his wife. He was a prodigy, he's the most famous golfer in the world, he's won tons of golf tournaments...he more than likely has a pretty hefty ego. People with large egos like to womanize. See Donald Trump.

In essence, I was pretty incurious about his affairs and car wreck until I heard a song on the radio called the Tiger Woods/ What Ya Say Remix. I heard the song and thought it was funny. I don't think his family's misfortune is funny. I think the funny part is how tacky the world is. At the most a marriage has been ruined and a family has been torn apart and all some DJ thought, "Oh, I got me Tiger Woodseseses audio clip of him begging his mistress to change her name on her phone...Imma mix that with a song about a guy cheatin on his lady" And people went for it! They got behind this and put it on the radio. Can't something be sacred to people? Shouldn't we feel bad for his wife. Shouldn't we respect her privacy?

(Now this may be slightly off topic but let's all take a moment to think about the assertion that homosexuals getting married ruins the sanctity of marriage. If anything, celebrities getting married ruins the sanctity of marriage. Go ahead, I'll give you a whole minute to think of 5 famous people that actually made it to their silver anniversary. But as much sanctity ruining that celebrities do, I still feel pretty fulfilled in my marriage. So I say, let's give the gays a shot.)

Back to Woodsy. So after this song came out, I was sort of interested. Now it is being reported that he may have cheated on his wife with somewhere around ten women. Ten women! Oh my! I find this fascinating primarily because now this will be his legend. While his legend used to be, being a prodigy and amazing golfer, now his legend to many people will be this scandal. Especially since most people don't enjoy golf. This kind of behavior may fly with A-Rod, but golf is lame buddy. I bet there's a considerable group of people that can't name one other person currently playing pro-golf.

Alot people may think Tiger is doomed but we don't really know how much good PR billions of dollars can buy. Maybe he'll be able to pay KFC to give away free dinners with some kind of CIA "Now, let's all forget this thing ever happened drug." in it. His wife may have to eat it every night for about almost two weeks. Some people think that Tiger and his wife could perhaps work through this but I really doubt it. First of all, they aren't going to get any privacy or time to process this alone. It is hard enough to salvage a marriage with that luxury let alone trying to salvage one with the added pressure of the media and paparazzi. Second, I have heard that in cases of infidelity, the only way to regain trust once it's lost in a marriage is for the cheating partner to be 100% transparent to their scorned spouse. As much as he travels for his career, I don't think the missus will ever be able to trust him again. If they stay together, I fear their children will grow up in a resentful environment. Although, maybe that will happen whether they stay together or not.

Dallas McBird

Ella McBird bore Dallas McBird,
A child that was quite absurd.

He was a jigsaw piece that did not fit.
He could find no companionship,
Not one little bit.

He wore shoes on his hands and gloves on his feet.
He got strange looks from even the sweet.

Perhaps he could saw off some of his jigs,
To fit into his puzzling digs.

He cut out bits of his what he thought to be his charm,
And it hurt him as deeply as losing an arm.

As soon as Dallas began to conform,
People began to seem much more warm.

All he had to do was fold,
And they all stopped being so painfully cold.

But surrounded by friends he still felt sad,
Dallas longed for what he once had.

Finally, friends, he had a wealth...
But Dallas McBird just longed for himself.

How To Be Thankful

As an average American, sometimes it's hard to be thankful with the knowledge that someone like Joe Francis has millions of dollars and someone like me doesn't even have thousands. Yes we live in a world that rewards debauchery and sliminess rather than those who strive for morals. But I think the reason for that is that you only need so much money in this world. And while the saying, "money can't buy you happiness" isn't exactly true, it is vaguely true. Money can buy you instant gratification, that is the kind of happiness money can buy. But as someone who lacks the funds to acquire instant gratification, I feel like I am ahead of the curve in experiencing that genuine happiness that the old adage is really talking about. Indeed appreciating the genuine bliss that is my life has taken years of practice but I feel like I am finally getting the hang of it.

Having said that, I am thankful that I don't have loads of money. For if I had it, my fear is that I would never go to all the trouble to find that authentic joy that makes me love my life.

Here is my 2009 list of things I am thankful for:

Siblings. I think my brother's are a wonderful gift that were given to me by my parents. My nine year self is gasping with disbelief as I type this but I have felt especially thankful for them this year. I have someone to share my childhood memories with. Someone who understands just where I came from. And in the future, I know two men that will help me when our parents start aging.

My mom and dad. I have two parents that I actually can stand. Not many people can say that.

My husband. He tries really hard to make me happy and make our marriage work. In our first
year of marriage we are working on becoming a team and I couldn't have done that without him.
He is the superhero that fixes what I break. The yin to my yang.

Our son. I am so lucky to have a son that is funny and sweet. Luckily, every so often he still sits in my lap, quietly and still. On those rare moments I fixate my mind on it. I concentrate on the clean scent of his fine yellow threads of hair. I try to memorize his warmth and weight on my body. Then I beg to God that this will be the memory I cling to in my departing breaths.

You're so vain.

I think if I had a vanity plate for my car, it definitely say something like, "lol" or "rofl". Or, "brb".

Just a thought.

Missing out on Temper Tantrums

I started my first day at a resturaunt today.

I was standing at the podium when a little boy about the same age as my son started throwing a rage-filled fit.

All I could do was desire to be with my own little grumpy gus.